Pretend City

I got to spend the whole day with two of my favorite people. 

This morning I rolled out of bed and went downstairs to have a cup of coffee. My friend Nate spent the night on the couch (he recently moved home to Rancho Cucamonga but his whole life is still here) and so we sat for a little bit and talked.

Breakfast at the Robecks with cartoons (cookie jar tv!!) to go along with. John Mark and Cristina took a day for themselves and the left soon after breakfast. The kids and I stayed in our pajamas until about 12.30. After we ate lunch we hurry scurried out the door on our way to Pretend City. 

If you've never heard of Pretend City, look it up and go. Basically, it is a city built inside of a warehouse and everything is miniature and kid-size. There is a post office, a farm, a construction site, a house, a doctors office, a stage, a grocery store, a lake, a beach/sandbox– they really have it all. Everything is set up for kids to touch, play with, build, move, drop, throw and carry off if needed. 

At first we were a little overwhelmed with so much to do. But between the art studio for Rebekah and the construction site for Caleb, we were totally set all day. I asked the kids what they're favorite parts were. Caleb really liked digging and planting at the farm. They have areas full of plastic bits ground up that look like dirt, and then vegetables you can "plant" in the "ground". Of course Caleb would chose to dig. 

It was also at this point that RRR decided she didn't want to do what we were doing anymore and so I told her she could go all by herself and do something else. Her eyes got big, I gave her her ticket and some "money" (The kids get stamps at each station and then the stamps at an "ATM" will give them money) and off she went. Every once and a while she'd come back and tell me about something new she found. It was great. 

At one point we were at the doctors office and the kids both dressed up, put me on the table and started hitting my knees and listening to my heart and lungs. In the end I was put in a foot brace and given crutches and told to rest up. Rebekah was using an accent as her doctor voice which I think is funny, because their real doctor has one. 

The  construction site was a lot of fun as well. RRR and CMR built a 4x4 "house" for us and in the end we put a roof on it– while all of us were still inside. 

I could go on and on. The best was to hang out with them, smile with them and discover new stuff with them. Sometimes I felt like I was the only grown up actually sitting on stuff, playing with toys and putting on costumes but how could I not?? I would have betrayed our friendship. I was an awesome day, and it ended with books on the top bunk and kisses before bed. After I turned the light off it was relatively quiet–which is saying something for those two. 

adventures with eli

This morning Eli and I hung around the playground a bit after Ryan went into his class. We walked around on the grass and enjoyed the playground a bit. At one point he ran over to the swings and leaning onto the seat moved forward a bit and exclaimed "weeeeee!". 

I sat down on the swing and set him on my lap, facing me. Caleb and Rebekah and I do this all the time. They face me and put their legs on either side of me and we swing and giggle and make faces at each other. I attempted this same thing with Eli, knowing Caleb always gets a kick out of it. Except this time not so much. After about a minute he said "up, up, please" (which really means down in Eli language) and so I consented. He immediately ran over to another swing and leaning into it so it would move a bit said "weeeee!". 

Sometimes I think we are a lot like this. In our lives we go about day to day doing the same things and enjoy them quite a lot. However I do think that sometimes God wants to pick us up, sit us facing him and swing as high as the bar–wind blowing in our faces and tickles in our tummies. But there are times when we say, "no thanks, not today" and settle for just the smallest movement by our own actions. 

still sick.

I'm completely overwhelmed and really just tired. 

megan

Wednesday mornings I have been blessed with the opportunity to help out with childcare during women's bible study. I help my friend Laura, who is a NICU nurse, with the infants in the nursery. Each week I feel like I learn tuns and walk away feeling so relaxed and joyful. 

Anyway, today I held Megan. In the past Megan has been the one who cries and cries the whole time, the one who seems to only be happy for moments every once and a while during the two hours we have her. This morning I started out talking to her while she was still in her car seat. Then she got uncomfortable so I took her out and held her. Completely happy to watch everything going on around her, about an hour later I realized she was still smiling and watching as I helped Laura when I could. 

Some yawning and a few tears and we decided it was time to wrap her up. She loves to sleep in the mobi wrap and so Laura taught me how to put it on. Instantly she was asleep. I can see why moms love those so much. Your hands are free and yet there's a tiny little person strapped to you. She fussed a little but I passed her mom at 11:30 with a big smile on my face. 

I love Wednesday mornings. 

Heather and Patrick

Hey friends, I just got an email from my friend Heather. I had the most wonderful conversations over tea with her in Oxford and I am so thrilled for her tonight. She is from the Pacific Northwest and I believe Patrick is studying abroad from Kenya. She is incredible and I love how happy she is. 

Hello dear friends!

Patrick and I are engaged! We spent this past weekend in Missoula talking with my parents, and were so affirmed and encouraged by their their support.  Then this morning Patrick came over early and we biked to Gasworks Park for a picnic breakfast.  We stood by the railing looking out over the lake, and then I started to put my gloves on for the ride back, but Patrick held my hands and got down on one knee and asked if I would marry him!  I said yes, and we both just stood there smiling and laughing and hugging each other -- we are so excited and so ready to be engaged!  We are planning to get married on July 17 at Rainier Avenue Church in Seattle, so get excited for an invitation coming your way in the next few months.  Thank you for all of your prayers and support through this process, and we look forward to celebrating with you every chance we get!

Love,

Heather and Patrick

ironic

In previous years the snow season comes around and living in so cal the winter never really comes down from the mountains. Yet every year I bring from home my snowboard, boots, jackets, pants, goggles–the whole shabang. Except I've never used them here before. One year they actually all got stolen and thats a crazy story all in itself. 

This year, packing up and leaving to come back here from Christmas at home I looked at my board and thought, you know I've never used you and you always just sit in the closet. I'll just leave you here this year. 

Stuart and Nate went up a few weeks ago to the snow. Sam and Seb are talking about going. Friends from church are making the trip up to attempt a beautiful day enjoying the one sport I've loved since childhood. 

Where's my board? At home in the closet. 

coming to terms with blue

For a long time I have shied away from the color blue. I am completely drawn to anything in the color pallet of brown–burnt orange, mustard yellow, sage green–and my whole life reflects it. My quilt, first and foremost. My clothes are all of these colors and they match all of the furniture that belongs to me and mine. I chose my pens and paper based on those colors, my coffee mugs, my shoes, art that I like. 

Yet I find myself surrounded by blue lately. 

The majority of my closet is blue. Blue jackets, blue shirts, blue tank tops (How did this happen??!). I even found myself trying on more blue things last night with my sister. I've been painting with blue lately. I want blue shoes and blue hats. I'm looking at blue in photography and noticing when authors use blue to describe in my literature homework. My favorite pair of eyes are blue. 

Maybe I just need to give up and embrace it. So much of me doesn't think that blue has a place in my color pallet. But apparently blue thinks it does. 

stir crazy

Short story, I'm tired of the way this page looks. I'm sort of in the process of making it better and I'm not sure how. I think I'll just fiddle a while. 

Self expression, why is it so important?

frustration.

Recently a staff member at Vanguard decided it was okay to personally attack another–not her own–department and the decisions of said department. She also chose to do it via the student newspaper. 

Now, I can see where some of her concerns may lie, why maybe she might have the opinion she does. However, at a Christian university no less, she chose to tear apart a colleague who is involved in student ministries in front of the entire student body. Many of her arguments hold no concrete basis and I find it interesting that she would so dare to speak about meetings and decisions she herself had no presence or part in. 

Lastly, how does this help morale in her workplace? How does this lift others up? Forgiveness? Support for someone despite their mistakes? Community–how is it fostered by pulling others down? What does it say about a person who is so publicly willing to berate another? I think insecure is the word I'm looking for. 

In her attempts to correct, share her opinion and make others look bad, I think she has found her reward. 

adventures with eli-and the red wiffle ball

Yesterday was the first time Eli and I got to walk to the coffee shop, as it has been raining the last couple fridays that I have had the morning with him. For some reason he wasn't super excited about getting in the stroller so I grabbed the red wiffle ball we had been playing with earlier as we headed out the door. 

We had a great time talking (he doesn't really speak English yet) on the way and "two!..one!..go!!" means Ashley pushes the stroller faster down the sidewalk. A fun game really. He held that red ball in his hand the whole way, once we got to coffee and played with it the rest of the time we were out. 

We went outside and walked around in the courtyard, played in the sand, and went to watch the ducks in the water. Red ball in hand. Every once in a while he would throw it, giggle and then go get it again. 

We wandered into Barnes and Noble and played hide and seek...with the ball. He also rolled it between the bookshelves in there, only to laugh and go run and find it again. On the way home in the stroller he fell asleep with it in his lap and we took it to pick up Ryan later as well, who played with it all the way home. 

Who knew so much fun could ensue with such a simple thing. 

friday night with family

Tonight I got off work, after a very long day, with so much excitement for the evening. 

Upon arrival home I walked into all the girls in my house getting ready. To give you a bit of a picture, we have three walk-closets upstairs, two bathrooms, countless curling irons and straighteners, and who knows how many necklaces, pairs of boots or heels. So I jumped in the shower, put on one of my favorite blue tops and a p-coat and curled my hair for the first time in a two weeks. 

Dinner at Pei Wei. Yum. Then we headed up to Steamers, for some music and good conversation. Before we got there–this is just like us–we randomly walked into an art gallery/used books/literary journal/clothes store. Immediately we got excited about the dirt cheep books (of which I got three), art on the walls and handmade things on shelves. My beautiful friend Desirae is visiting from Portland and tonight was us all getting to hang out again. Through the rain we skipped to our original destination. We got drinks and raspberry chocolate goodness for dessert and had an amazing time soaking up the jazz music and ambiance.

A quick text from Bethany and we were off to another venue because she and Simeon (a good friend from church) were playing some music in Costa Mesa. I walked in and all the people I love were there. Dave and Courtney, Matt and Heather, Lee and Laurie Munsell, Nate, Macho, Johanna...many of you don't know any of these names but they are people so dear to my heart. I felt like I walked into a family gathering and they were all there to support Sim. Love it. 

Hugs all around and we got to enjoy some incredible music. Beth sang a couple of hers, which is fun for me because I know all the words. Simeon played his newest stuff which feels like is going to be the best–he's really found a niche for himself. 

Such a beautiful night.

i'm thankful it's thursday

Thursdays tend to be really good days of my week. I typically have no work due, my classes are great, and I often spend the day getting things done and reading. This morning I woke up and there was a warm breeze coming in though our window, my house is still sleeping this morning as I get started on the day. I'm thankful for: 

a) the blessing of a working computer– how incredible to be able to work from my favorite places again, my kitchen and desk, and not have to leave in the evening to the florescent lit library. 

b) the Robeck family– they love on me and feed me and give me medicine. But also the friendship that I have with each of them, their caring and involvement in my life. 

c) the opportunity to fly to San Antonio and spend time with James, see a bit of his life there and meet the people he loves.  

d) i'm so thankful for the ability to buy food, put gas in my car, make tea in the morning, walk up our four flights of stairs, read books, go on adventures, and live life to its fullest. 

a beautiful weekend

There is so much to say I don't really know where to begin. 

I woke up Friday morning in a big cozy bed somewhere in San Antonio. The rest of the weekend I got to meet great people, walk in beautiful places and experience a little bit of life in another place.  

We had some incredible food this weekend. Chicken with mushrooms and artichoke hearts, and beer battered mushrooms to go with it. Homemade pizza and pizza from a little local brewery–both delicious. We had Thai food, level four spicy out of five, with great conversation and laughter. There were peanut butter and honey sandwiches and milk with grapes and cookies on a blanket in the park. Incredible chicken with asparagus accompanied by some amazing peach tea (I'm not describing it right, but it was amazing). Quesadillas, my favorite and two of the most incredible breakfasts I've ever eaten. The best part about all of these was that I shared them with one of my closest friends. 

We went and enjoyed a beautiful afternoon in the Japanese Tea Gardens. We walked in and among flowers and ponds talking and laughing and catching up. The sunshine was out and warming our faces as we sat and watched families, talking together. 

San Antonio, like California, was home to many monastic/catholic Mission communities. Saturday afternoon we went and explored them, taking time to enjoy the warm air, wintry paths in the surrounding woods and the open courtyards one finds in such places. We sat on benches, climbed on walls, sat quietly in chapels and learned new things and places together. 

I got to share about myself this weekend. Friends had lots of questions I tried to answer as well and succinctly as I could. I so enjoyed getting to step into a new community of people that I hear about often and begin to put names to faces. 

We got outside the city on Monday. There is a little German community called Fredricksburg just north of San Antonio and to walk on the main street reminded me a bit of Sonora. We explored shops, beautiful antique stores, book stores (complete with a cat), restaurants, tea shops and side streets. We talked, laughed, walked in silence and I was just so blessed to enjoy such a wonderful day. For dinner we had German food, with spatzle of course, and it melted in my mouth. 

Returning home felt like leaving a piece of me there. It felt completely unnatural to be without–I'll be ok, it just feels strange. 

 

church history

I always wondered how all these different pieces fit together. This put into clear perspective for me. It's from a powerpoint in my Church History class- maybe it helps.

i need a cup of coffee

I've been having the worst time with books this semester. It started when the bank decided to charge me ridiculous amounts of money for a couple mistakes, and thus my strategy of purchasing books before the semester starts went out the window. I came home early from Christmas to work so I could pay for them. Then in ordering them my debit card got charged but I received no books. So all the money I had to buy books was gone, money I still have yet to get back come to think of it. Round and round with the ebay company and no one ever believes you when you tell them what went wrong. It all culminates at this day. I have assignments due at 1 this afternoon. The book is on reserve in the library, but someone got to it this morning before I did. So now I have to wait. What does one do in a situation like this?

Wait.

love gardens

I stumbled upon a community garden this weekend while I was on my way to the beach in Laguna. I love gardens like this. I saw a little sign and a gate and I figured, it's for the community right? So I let myself in. I wandered through the little isles looking at what each section had in it and was amazed by the tomatoes at this time of year. It was wonderful to smell the eath and the ocean air mixed together with the impending rain. Took a couple pictures on my phone.

random connection

I found out this morning that my pastor knows, and has for a long time, one of my favorite professors at Vanguard. I had Mike Beals for my Foundations class and my Christian Worldview class. I also would have taken philosophy with him if he had not left to pastor a church last semester. It was neat to get to talk to Kevin about Beals. He is the professor that offered to write me a letter of recommendation if I ever needed one at any time. I so enjoyed his classes, the way he lectured and his humor as well. One of the greatest complements I've ever received was the day he walked up to me after class and told me that he really followed my thought in class and asked about my plans for grad-school. His classes were a little bright spot in my spring semester 2009. 

adventures with eli

This semester I have been hanging out with the Youd boys every Friday. Eli and I drop Ryan off at school at 10:10 and then until 1:30 its just us. In the past we have done fun things like go to the park, play outside in the complex or go for walks to pass the time. But this last Friday the sky was full of rain. 

So we did inside things. Tully's coffee shop is in the Woodbridge area, about two blocks from their home and anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE coffee. We went there, played for a little bit and walked around in the courtyard. Then we wandered into Barnes and Noble (again another love of mine). 

We played peek-aboo around the bookshelves, read lots and lots of Valentines Day and Elmo books. He also found large copies of his favorites, Good Night Moon and Goodnight Gorilla and we read them on the floor. It was a wonderful rainy afternoon and after we were done looking we went home for lunch. 

*sorry about the picture, I really have absolutely no idea how to get it to rotate and save that way on a mac..

One of the great things about Eli is that he is learning to say lots and lots of words right now, but some consonants don't come out quite right. A few weeks ago I was trying to teach him my name. It came out sort of like "a-tee" at first, but now it sounds a lot like "o-tee" and mostly like he's calling me "hotie". Love it. 

meet san francisco

Tonight, after a crazy busy day, we as a leadership team got to meet and hang out with the students we will be going to the city with over spring break! I realized while we were in the meeting who these individuals would actually become over the next six weeks of my life. They will become friends, team members, people I stay up late at night with and serve side by side. I am going to have deep conversations with these students, get to know them and their stories and learn from them. I feel really blessed to be able to talk with them and begin to know who they are.

I left the meeting more excited for the trip. I can't wait to be there. I also realized the difference between this year and last year as far as my health goes. It is incredible to me how awful I felt at this time last year. I had headaches, chills, my body ached unceasingly– it is amazing what the proper medicine will do for ones body. I felt great tonight, incredible even. I am so thankful for that.

Speaking of thankful.

I follow a few blogs that participate in "Thankful Thursdays". I think I will, because of my bad attitude and negativity about life sometimes, follow suit.

a) I am thankful for my health this year.
b) I am thankful to be involved in this outreach trip.
c) For my warm cozy bed waiting for me at home.
d) Friends who love me, care about me, and pour into me.
e) Caleb and Rebekah- so much joy comes from them.
f) My church, and all the amazing ways I get to be involved there.

Just a few for now, however I could probably just list and list and list. But right now I need to go home and get some sleep.


*picture taken by Megan Mcdanel, via her phone. I'm the one moving my bangs out of my face with the orange shirt on.

if i were rain

"In our daily lives we share all our joys and sorrows with others. We live and die with them. And there are times we need our solitude and silence. But when our solitude becomes too much, we tire of it and seek change.

That is when we realise we can live without solitude,
but we cannot live without everybody else. "

-Yashoda 18 years




"Our elders are an indispensible part of our lives. They are like a roof over our heads. THey take resposibility for our sorrows. They are our refuge."
-Shahana 17 years

"Love is a fragrant breeze that touches and passes by, its fragrance unrecognized. And sometmes, having felt it we still choose to remain strangers."
-Yashoda

"Love puts an end to all discrimination."
-Shahana



"No, love can never be weighed or measured.
Love is like a well of cool water that
quenches everyones thirst and
never dries up."
-Yashoda


"If I were rain, I would go where water cannot be found."
-Rani 12 years

[i borrowed a photography book from a friend called If I Were Rain. i want to make a book like this.]

sfo

San Francisco Outreach update: 

This last week we had a prayer meeting in a little studio appt in Costa Mesa for the trip. I was an awesome time to get together and talk and hang out in Megan's little place. Beth played the guitar and we listened to some poetry too-which kind of gives you a picture of the kinds of people going on this trip. 

We were also given a list of people to call this week, contact and set up days to work with organizations. I was given Mark Scandrette, our main contact, whom I adore after reading his book about community living and creativity. He called me back today, and we had an awesome conversation about places to stay and things our team can do (walks through the city, beautification projects, poetry slams, prayer flags) while we are there. I'm totally excited. 

Our first team meeting (with the students) is this week and I am pumped for it. As of right now there are about 30 students signed up to go and each of the leaders, I among them, will be given 5 or 6 students to actually lead through the week. Something I am also excited about- not walking through the city in a group of 30. Seriously, if you saw a group of 30 white kids with backpacks on walking by your front door what would you think??

Pastor Evan (in red) runs the homeless church we work with in the city– we love him and his excitement, zeal even, for life. 

im in love with the BBC

Incredible article about the past weeks weather in sunny Southern California.

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/8487473.stm