finished

(from a few days ago) Today I woke up, and edited my essay. My final word count was 4,259 words. I think that may be the longest essay I have ever written, definately the longest essay I have ever researched and written in 8 days. At the beginning of the term I wondered why term only lasted 8 weeks. Its because no one can work this hard for more than that.

We all walked down to Frewin Court together, turned in our essays and Simon had tea ready and waiting for us. By 12.30 there were 50 or so people all hanging out in a teeny tiny little space. It was good though, I got some really good pictures of the guys hugging and celebrating together.

After all the girls went to Greens and later that night we all cooked and had a Christmas celebration. We did a gift exchange, and we weren't allowed to spend any money on it. It was the most fun watching the guys come up with gifts to make. TJ made Christye a man out of vegetables, Tim made TJ some homemade butter, and Cameron danced to some hip-hop for Jordan, so interesting.

this is me

I'll give you a mental picture. Me, sitting at my desk, books piled up around me, 56 pages of notes in my notebook next to my computer, coffee cups sitting in various places around the room, and my dirty laundry is piling up in my closet. I haven't showered yet today, theres no time, my hair is getting gross and around lunch I finally changed out of my sweats. I ate, at some point, and my email inbox is almost full. BUT, I have only 1000 words left to write for my paper and only two more points plus a conclusion. Perfection. A well spent day. I will finish this bad boy tonight, edit it, and go to breakfast in the morning in celebratory bliss.




(I re-read this and I am realizing how bad this is, if it were a lie I would erase it and post something else, but its true)

so close

I am working on a 4000 word essay currently. At the beginning of the semester writing 4000 words in one week terrified me, at this point I have until Thursday at 12 and I started this morning. (This is the point where John Mark and I would laugh at each other and start comparing paper writing experiences) Its going pretty good, sorta slow right now but I'm not going to go to bed until I am about halfway done. Which is still a ways off, but I have time. I am writing about Virginia Woolf, and how the ideas in To the Lighthouse and Mrs. Dalloway about art / creativity reflect ideas of the others in the Bloomsbury Group. Its pretty fun, which is good, cause I am almost completely drained. What is interesting about the Bloomsbury Group is all of their complicated relationships and its fun to see that dynamic play out in their work.

There is so much to write about though. I feel like I could write a dissertation about this, or a book.

to follow a perfect night

Saturday morning I woke up to Amanda saying, "Ashley do you want to get up and go for a walk with us?" I looked at my little alarm clock, 7:15. Still dark out. Decide...decide...yes. Stumble out of bed. Jeans. Socks. Sweatshirt. Shoes....shoes? where are they? I put on Jessi's huge parka and walked downstairs.

Waiting for me on the counter was a huge cup of coffee. Christye, Amanda and Christy all looked as tired as I felt, but we were doin it, no going back. We started out, after drinking our coffee first, and walked along the backside of the park through the neighborhood, away from the city. We walked and walked and then got to a huge open field. We looked back at the city, across the field, sun rising on our left. From there we could see the spires of the Lower Camera and the church on High Street-as well as our breath in the icy cold air. It was literally freezing out.

We took the long way back, up to Headington Hill and back into town via the bikepath that runs through the park. We stopped on the bridge, and ubsorbed the early morning sunshine for a minute. Then we quickly navigated our way to Greens, delighted that we had managed to come out on St. Giles street directly across from it. Its amazing to think that just 3 months ago we didn't even know what St. Giles street was called, let alone how to get there.

We got coffee and went upstairs to the couch. And started to process leaving. We talked about home, what we are going to miss, and what we will do differently once we get back. It is crazy to think I haven't known these girls all my life.

We walked back to Crick and found everyone in the kitchen eating breakfast. I was so full of joy, first the Trout, then an unforgetable walk through Oxford.

A Poem for Crick

In the Valley of the Elwy

I remember a house where all were good To me, God knows, deserving no such thing: Comforting smell breathed at very entering, Fetched fresh, as I suppose, off some sweet wood. That cordial air made those kind people a hood All over, as a bevy of eggs the mothering wing Will, or mild nights the new morsels of spring: Why, it seemed of course; seemed of right it should. Lovely the woods, waters, meadows, combes, vales, All the air things wear that build this world of Wales; Only the inmate does not correspond: God, lover of souls, swaying considerate scales, Complete thy creature dear O where it fails, Being mighty a master, being a father and fond. by Gerard Manley Hopkins -pictures by Jonathan Kirkpatrick-

the day

The sun is taking a long time this morning, its 8:08 and still not up yet. Theres a pink and orange and blue bit in the sky just over the rooftops, out my window.

best night of my life

On Friday night I was so privilaged to have three of the most amazing guys come over to cook dinner with me. We made chicken fajitas, nachoes and Ciraulo made his most famouse guacamole (almost as good as Cristina's). We turned up Noah and the Whale and had a great time goofing around in the kitchen, and what followed was the most amazing meal. Not only did we eat but Rob, Lindsey and Kohleun ate as well. Such a feast!

Around 8 some other people from The Vines came down to Crick, picked us up and we walked from our house to the Trout Pub.

Here is the thing about this pub, its a long ways away. We walked through North Oxford for a bit, a beautiful neighborhood, and then came to a bridge. Once over the bridge its about a two mile walk through Port Meadow. There were about 15 amazing people that went, including the guys, and we were walking and talking about school, theology, missions, family, leaving and so much more. It has been raining recently so the path was a bit muddy, but all part of the adventure. On the left of us was a big open field, to the right, the river Thames. All along the way were trees and little gates to go through. There is an old abandoned Abbey close to the pub and the Poplar trees we walked under were the same trees Gerard Manley Hopkins writes about. This was C.S. Lewis' favorite pub, he and Tolkein would walk out to it when they needed a retreat from the busy hustle bustle of Oxford. It was magical to walk under the trees and stars next to the river, talking and laughing with people I love.

On the way home we were all a little hyper, probably from the guys running ahead, hiding in the dark and then scaring us. I was walking with a group of 6 amazing guys, who were at this point running and jumping over puddles, joking around and being super loud. On the way home the lights from the city in the distance reflected off the puddles so that we could see them. Which made for faster walking. I discovered that my friend Dave likes to sail, and we talked about that for a long time. I got really excited. They came back to Crick, I filled them up with coffee and then they went home to study a bit more. Saturday morning I woke up, giddy in my heart because of how amazing and full of joy I felt. Such an amazing night.

my most amazing junior dean

Jonathan Kirkpatrick, amazing.

Let me tell you friends, what I had for dinner tonight. A few weeks ago we invited Jonathan to our food group, breakfast burritos (which he had never eaten), and its a tradition that when we cook for him, he cooks for us. Its incredible cause he really goes all out.

Tonight, the first course of our meal was rice, green sauce and frog legs. Yes, frog.

Main course was pheasant (garlic and apples inside, bacon on top), with potatoes, parsnips (with gravy) and cheasnuts cooked with onions and bacon.

For dessert, mostly created by Dave and TJ, we had pineapple upside-down cake with homemade custard.

Doesn't that sound divine? Believe me friends, it was.
Funny moments during the meal: Amanda decided to make her frog's legs dance on her plate, and then Cameron made his jump around the table. After we ate TJ commented, "I would like you guys to just observe, that you had meat from three different animal kingdoms tonight". I think I'm still full.

the beginning of the end

Tonight is my last tutorial. Right now I am sitting at my desk working on my last essay for Dr. Lawes. Its on Sidney's Astrophil and Stella and I got so excited about the research this week that I am now writing really late. Oh well.

I'm looking out the window at a big crescent moon that has been hangin out with me all afternoon. Its just hanging over Oxford, waiting for the sun to go away. (Keep in mind that its not even 17.00 yet and its pitch black out and the moon is high over head. )

In the next two hours I will be finished with my academic work at Oxford, save for one more long essay. But as far as my research goes I am extremely close to done. Its bitter sweet. The more work I complete the closer I am to done, except that I do not want to be done yet. This place is amazing yet everyone, myself included, is starting to feel time pull us back home. Most of us are resisting it still, it is sortof a taboo subject in the house. Everytime someone mentions going home, or leaving or packing everyone starts to yell. :)

Welp, I guess I better keep working, cause whether I like it or not 20.00 is quickly approaching.

rain rain go away..

Lately I have definately noticed the lack of California sunshine in my life. England, if no one knew, is much closer to the north pole than Cali, and that does weird things to the sun. The sun rises around 8 in the morning, and there is a sunset around 2:45 in the afternoon, dark around 3:30. On top of the lack of daylight hours, its winter now and rains almost everyday, so most of the time even when the sun is up, I can't tell. I am really starting to miss the sun.

I feel tired a lot. I feel sad sometimes too. Most days I need lots of hugs. This morning the sun was up and shining through our window so I stood in the middle of my room for about 15 minutes in my pajamas soaking up the little bit of warmth that made it through the glass. Today all I wanted to do was sit in the sunshine, but alas, the Bodley was calling. Today I sat in the library from about 12 to 7:30 (i stopped to eat of course). It was a productive un-sun-shiney day.