Charles

There are worse things.

I have been in the car buying process for about a month and each car I have borrowed in the meantime has been its own experience. With the Honda Civic I am currently scootin around in, for which I am forever grateful, I received this list. I laughed through each point and I have to say that about five of them have helped supremely. 

1. To lock/unlock all doors, the driver's side door must be open past the point that goes "click" a second time.

2. The CD player works, but the display is shot. Left side operates volume up/down, right side operates track sequence. If other buttons are pressed, they will still operate, but the operator will not know what is going on via the display.

3. The car's name is Charles.

4. Charles is a fussy gimp. 

5. Since Charles has a limp, shifting gears in the automatic car will help with acceleration, when pedal to the metal doesn't work.

6. To go up hills over 40mph, use 2nd Gear.

7. Charles has an empty 1-gallon jug in the trunk, as well as jumper cables.

8. The car's light system does not go "ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding..." if they are left on and the door is opened.

9. Sometimes the CD player will not play. Eject CD and then re-insert, rinse and repeat until it works.

10. The radiator cap is NEW. It has a pressure release feature that will make things easier and less painful if it is needed to be removed.

11. The notebook with the gas/mileage information is in the driver's door pocket. 

12. There are two places to keep small belongings. The first is beneath the leftmost vent by the steering wheel. The other is the ashtray. 

13. The car information is in the pocket of the passenger-side chair. 

14. To unlock the passenger front door, a key is needed on the outside. The lock itself is broken on the inside. It CAN turn. Be gentle.

16. The rear right passenger door lock has been replaced by another version of a Honda's lock. A thumb or index finger can pull it up.

17. The the left-side of the car is scarred where the two doors meet in the middle. They still open, but might take some coaxing.

18. Talk nicely to Charles. Swearing will not make him go faster. 

19. Sometimes Charles is happy to go very strong (not necessarily fast). Anywhere past 5,000 rpm will hurt the battery power. The battery light will turn on, and if the car lights are on, they will go dim until the rpm goes under 5,000.

20. The trunk door needs to be slammed -hard- to shut and stay shut. Do NOT be gentle, or you will stand for a minute or two, trying to shut the poor thing, with no agreeable result.

21. The volume control on the CD player will sometimes (but rarely) play the fool and not change the volume. Sometimes a single push will send it 100% louder. This is a rare event, so don't worry too much. 

22. The items are not

23. Order

24. Listed

25. In. 

26. If the car weight is blessed with over more than 300 pounds, please take ALL speed bumps carefully. Even if the area is known. Charles sinks very low when stressed for weight.

27. Keep an eye on the tire level. 

28. Charles is currently out of windshield washing fluid.

29. The glove compartment is cool.

30. To lock the "unlock" function of the gas tank and trunk from the driver's side, there is a keyhole located at the switch location.

31. I have to go back to packing. Charles is a good car. Speak to him, he does have a personality.

Sincerely,

Ian M. Pierce

Thanks Ian!