san francisco

   .   .   .

reverberating of walls

the noise rises up, 

out

thundering into space

this city calls, 

shouts. 

early dawn hits

its face

and I sit

and wait–

contemplating this place. 

   .   .   . 

This week in the city was incredible. A team of 22 students blew me away with how they stepped up, the conversations they had and the way they served. I have learned so much from them. The city captured my heart again, and how could it not? I walked down 24th street between Potrero and Mission every day. I sat in the Haight with street kids who have the most amazing philosophies about life and carry their names with pride- Creelle, Scottage Cheese, and Mushroom.

"Thank you sir, for having a job and supporting our crappy economy. Because, apparently money is what makes people, people" –Eric 

Art surrounded me constantly. I was encouraged to meet and see friends again. I woke up each morning to the sun rising over the city, slowly warming the darkness away. 

blustery night

I feel like I don't have the time to write anything interesting. I have all these thoughts whirling and spinning around in my head like the wind is outside my window. I could write post after post about everything that I do and think about from the moment I wake up, (like the fact that I had an incredible breakfast this morning, toast, a fried egg and strawberries) all the classes and things I do during the day (like how the literary journal I'm working on will be DONE Friday, how my lit class got cancelled, my heart to heart with our team leader) until now when I'm about to crawl in bed (after I study for another hour, its all I've done today-study). 

Not enough time. I hope these thoughts don't blow away like the wind is trying to blow away my house. 

might as well be fifth week

This week: 

a) Two mid-term tests.

b) Everything for the Journal needs to be completed and sent to print. 

c) All writing for the Yearbook needs to be edited and finished. 

d) Final preparations for San Francisco need to be completed. 

Stress? nah. 

first woman president

I'm writing an article for the 09-10 yearbook about Dr. Carol Taylor, the first woman at Vanguard to hold the position of president. From the beginning I have been impressed with her leadership skills and commitment to her job. I emailed her asking a few questions for quotes to put in my article, and not only did she answer them promptly, but wants to schedule a coffee date. 

 I'll post some of her response to me. 

 1) Which changes or improvements are you most proud of/excited about since you have stepped into the role of President?

I prefer to talk about changes and improvements for which I am grateful.  Another college president recently shared with me her weekly spiritual discipline of gratitude. Every Sunday afternoon she makes two lists - one of things that happened during the week for which she is grateful, the other a list of challenges.  Each week she discovers that the list of things for which she is grateful far outnumbers her list of challenges or disappointments.  It is a spiritual discipline that I have added to my week as part of cultivating a heart of gratitude.

She went on to give me a full page list. One of which was, 

Our students, whose stories and passion to know and love God and desire to abandon their lives to Christ’s service inspire me. 

Dr. Taylor's Message in Chapel, Spring 09

dream center

I found myself standing in the doorway of unit 906, with about 8 little pairs of brown eyes looking up at me. In that moment I was reminded again about how I want to live and who I want to be. 

Saturday morning we went to the Los Angeles Dream Center and volunteered as part of our training for SFO. We helped out with their Adopt-A-Block program and it was really great to see the students step up and get excited about what we were doing. The program looks like this- about 200 (maybe more) people go out to predetermined sites in the LA County area, sites where they have "adopted a block" in a low income area. They start out by passing on food and then knock on doors to try and have conversations with the people who live there. 

Something really hit me about being there. While being at the door we ask the family if there is anything that they need specifically. Moms ask for diapers, things like shampoo or kitchen supplies that they really need but just can't get. The volunteers put in these requests and then through the resources and donations that the dream center has the request is filled. 

What an incredible gift, to ask if someone has a need and then turn around and tangibly fulfill that need. It reminded me, shook me again and woke me up to the reality that I need to live like I want to live, and not just talk about knowing my neighbors or building up the community around me. I need to not only talk about love, relationships and investing in people, but actually live it. 

i got a bike

Last year the most wonderful bike that I have ever seen or ridden was taken from me. I may never get over it honestly, I still think about how I wish I could have it back. However, I'm not going to let that stop me from riding. When a friend thought of me and brought a bike over that he was getting rid of, my dreams were born again. 

I got a bike. It needs a little work, but I get to ride it. 

pm chalk project

People ask me, 'how are you involved with Krochet Kids? What do you do...exactly?' 

I should tell them that I'm one of those friends they text late in the evening wondering if I'll help finish up a last minute project that needs to be done by tomorrow. I'm the one framing pictures, packing for events, and painting things way past my bedtime. I sell stuff too sometimes, and promote product at events, help with fundraisers–but mostly I hang out putting finishing touches on good ideas started a little late. 

Krochet Kids will be in 8 Peet's Coffee locations in Los Angeles during the month of March, helping them to promote their new African coffee blend. My little signs will stand proudly on the display table. 

"support AFRICAN empowerment–Krochet Kids @Peets"

 chalk on homemade wooden chalkboard-sorry the pics are dark

SFO

Today is Wednesday-the day that always throws me out of bed so far in the morning that I land back in it at night. 

I'm excited for our team meeting today. They are always full of productivity and this is one of the last before we leave next weekend. Currently I am sitting at our kitchen counter thinking about what to write in a probably really late support letter. The cost of the trip is really low, however, I think I need to send them out anyway just to let people know what is going on in my life. 

more later...

A Long Day's Journey Into Night-Eugene O'neill

I thought, since I read more than the average person, that I should probably start doing book and author reviews here. Often people come to me asking for a good book and often I can't think of one because there are so many. I think back on my college career–soon to come to a close–and there are to many authors to even think about; they are currently categorized in my mind by semester or by class. Thus...

We just finished reading Eugene O'neill's autobiographical play, A Long Day's Journey Into Night. It has an extremely sombre tone, and so if you are looking for something to make you feel good, probably not this one. The basic story is about one day in the life of a family of four, Mary and James and their two sons. Lots of dialogue and detailed stage direction make the piece unfold quickly and questions the reader has in the beginning slowly come to light throughout the story. 

The dynamics of this family are complicated and they are "trapped within each other by the past" and it seems to be a "never ending battle moment by moment" for each of them. They are "forgiving, but still never able to forget". I think if I wrote down a summary you wouldn't want to read it. However after reading it and pushing through the redundancy there is an incredible work on the other side. The way O'neill captures the characters, their relationships, and puts his heart on display is captivating. Published posthumously it won a Pulitzer Prize. 

"The fog was where I wanted to be. Halfway down the path you can't see this house. You'd never know it was here. Or any of the other places down the avenue. I couldn't see but a few feet ahead. I didn't meet a soul. Everything looked and sounded unreal. Nothing was what it is. That's what I wanted–to be alone with myself in another world where truth is untrue and life can hide from itself. Out beyond the harbor, where the road runs along the beach, I even lost the feeling of being on land. The fog and the sea seemed part of each other." 

-Edmund, Act Four

Synecdoche

Currently sitting in my senior capstone class. We are working on putting together the journal for this year and have come up against censoring by the department. My classmates are fighting for freedom of speech and for their works to be published. It is interesting because Synecdoche came out of an organic poetry class, as a spiral bound copy of student's work for the semester. Now we are dealing with censorship, representing the university, and opinions of outsiders. I wish it could just stay organic, stay uncomplicated and a true representation of a body of student's work. But I guess that's part of the down side to having something be recognized. My opinion is that we can't please everyone so we might as well do what we want anyway. The pieces that got pulled are well written (diction, rhetoric, plot, originality) and interesting and I think they should go in on grounds such as that, rather than be judged for language or content. 

Were working on final selections for who wins money this week. Hannah and I are selecting final photography entries this week as well as determining the order of the journal. Thoughts about it? I'm excited, I feel like I haven't done much work on it thus far but that should change– I have to write an intro and coordinate some things in the next couple weeks. It feels good to be involved in literary endeavors that I would love to be involved in the rest of my life.